Wednesday, May 16, 2007
A Little bit of Closure (this is a long one)
It was a little uncomfortable at first. She extended her hand to shake mine and I gave her a hug instead. We chatted as we walked to the restaurant. Once seated we talked about how we were both doing at this point in time. Then, after we were more comfortable with each other we talked more about the recovery from that night and how we had both been affected by the accident.
Several times during our conversation she started to cry. When I moved to my parents house from the hospital I was worried that she had walked away from the accident and never looked back. What I mean to say is that I was dealing with all the pain and suffering from the accident and had this fear that she had gone on with her life as if nothing had happened. I've known that wasn't the case since we first started e-mailing each other a year ago but, we never had the chance to really talk about it. Now I've seen it in her eyes.
Even to this day she is still uncomfortable in a car and doesn't really want to drive at all yet, she is more comfortable behind the wheel than when riding with another driver. We both have the same reaction when we see another driver doing something stupid. That reaction being a mix of fear, shock, and sadness. And, to be honest, I think she has a more difficult time with being in a car than I do. This may largely be due to the sense of freedom that driving gives me after a year and a half without that level of independence.
She was very easy to talk to and was able to clear up a few things about the accident. Mainly that I did swerve, to avoid hitting her on the drivers side, something that she says her mother wants to thank me for. Just the fact that she is alive is enough thanks for me.
I made the comment that, unfortunately, I may have swerved the wrong direction. Wisely, she reminded me that I can't look back and second guess my instincts. There is nothing we can do to change it and no way to know if the outcome would have been any better. As it is, that accident has made me a part of a much larger, and amazing world.
This Friday is the night of the benefit concert at Broad Ripple High School. The concert is at 7pm, and tickets can be purchased at the door, and I'll be speaking at the end. It has come together through the hard work and generosity of several wonderful and gifted people. People I didn't know until today but have opened their hearts and set their talents to the goal of raising funds to help me walk better and show the world the importance of kindness.
Speaking of hard working, generous, talented people, the first order of recipe books are in. They're fantastic, and they're selling like hotcakes! I looked through the orders and didn't see some of the names of people that had told me they wanted them. So, if you're not sure how to order them, or want to be sure we have your order, please e-mail Maureen Cornelius at email@example.com, or put a comment on the blog. You can also tell a member of my family or a friend who knows how to contact me. The recipe books really are wonderful and I want to be sure that everyone who wants one gets one.
Don't forget, there's also a benefit Pilate's class at Pilate's with John on Memorial Day weekend. It's an advanced class so we don't expect anyone who hasn't done Pilate's to attend and I don't want anyone to feel obligated either. I just wanted to show that these three fund raisers are fantastic examples of the goodness in the world. A neighbor of my parents recently made a large donation and made the comment that, with all the money being spent on war in the world, this is their chance to try to balance it out. I can't express how thankful I am to be a part of that!
I can't pretend to know what life is like for you right now, but I am proud of what you have made it.
I will miss the benefit and I am so upset however, I mismarked my calendar. Enjoy it and cherish your memories your making.
That was very special to meet with the young lady that was involved in your accident. I know from previous conversations she was struggling. So, maybe reaching out to you will ease her heart a little bit.
Have a great weekend,
stay in touch if you are able to...firstname.lastname@example.org
With many hugs,
I love how blogs always say "choose an identity". As if I would choose to be anyone else other than who I am.